getting in my own way

It’s funny, as I grow older, I realize just how much I hold myself back.  Subconsciously, I am forever thinking things like I could never do that, or They must really hate me, or Now I’ve really screwed up.  

I never noticed just how negative my thought patterns were until this week.  I’m working really hard to focus on the positive, because I’ve been writing in a gratitude journal and part of that is to change the way I think. For some reason, I just automatically assume that someone doesn’t like me, or that I’ve messed up, or I’m not good at something.  I was afraid to contact a former employer because I felt they were not happy with my previous work, even though they had not given me any indication that they felt this way.  So for a whole week I avoided emailing this person, based on a though in my head.

I was telling my husband about it and he kept asking why I felt that way, and it shocked me to realize that there wasn’t really any reason, I just believed my work had not been up to my usual standards.

I’m just so quick to doubt myself and my skills, and I always assume that I am being judged by others.  I read somewhere that most people are more focused on themselves and their own problems and therefore do not have the time to be judging me, yet I assume that is what they do all of the time.

I know that this post doesn’t really make sense, but sometimes I just have to sort my thoughts on on paper.  All of this just makes me wonder: what would I be able to accomplish if I stopped holding myself back?


On a positive note, I want to share the template I have been using for my journal.  It’s a journal created by Alex and Mimi Ikonn (if you haven’t watched them on YouTube, you should!).  The Five Minute Journal is an amazing book.  I haven’t purchased it myself yet, but they provide the template on the website so you can either print it or copy it into your own journal, which is what I do.  These people are the happiest, sweetest, and most insightful couple.  I’ve learned so much by just watching their videos.  Check out Mimi and Alex and tell me what you think!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s