It’s funny how things can seem so scary until you actually go and do it for yourself.
I am a chronic over-thinker. I constantly worry about my capabilities and doubt my ability to perform a task well. Before I enrolled in the B.Ed program, I often thought: I could never be a teacher. But now, look at me. I’m teaching. I wouldn’t say that I am an anxious person, but if I am having a bad day, my negative thoughts can push me over the edge and I can end up wanting to hide in my bed, away from the world.
So I’m making a list of things that scare me. Things that give me anxiety and things that I need to address in my life so that I can choose to live fearlessly. After all, that’s what this blog is all about. I actually think that’s what life is all about – choosing to face the things that scare you and getting past them.
So here it is, a not-fully-comprehensive list of things that scare me.
Driving scares me. I’m always overthinking it and simply merging on to a highway can cause me to burst into tears. I’m always worried about getting into an accident.
I think I’m scared to really commit and lose weight. I don’t know why, but I know that I’m fully capable of losing the weight, I just seem to self-sabotage all. the. time.
I’m terrified of confrontation. I don’t do well under pressure and I hate when people are rude to one another. The confrontation doesn’t even have to include me, haha!
I’m scared of sharks. And all scary things that lurk in deep water.
I’m so scared of failing. As if I’m the only one who make mistakes.
I worry all of the time about what people are thinking of me. I know that it shouldn’t matter, but for some reason many of my actions are based on what I think people would want. Logically, I know I’m better than that, but I can’t seem to shake it.
These are all things I hope to change about myself.
I created this blog because I know that I am the type of person who becomes complacent with my sedentary lifestyle. I need to constantly set goals and work towards something or else I often sit around doing nothing.
The name of this blog itself speaks to the desire to live my life without fear and to actually do something with my life. I created an instagram account with the same name to track my weight loss progress, since losing weight is a huge (and largely unsuccessful) goal of mine. On this account I planned to be completely honest, and share everything from my weight to food I ate and workouts I completed. I didn’t plan on sharing the account with anyone in my real life, because I didn’t really think that they needed to see things like my weight, etc.
But good ol’ Instagram shared with all my contacts that I had this account, and so many of the people I know in real life began following my account. At first I was so embarrassed, and tempted to delete the account. It was okay if strangers from the internet saw that stuff, but I felt awkward knowing that people I knew were privy to that information too. However, I’ve been thinking about it, and maybe this will help to motivate me further. If everyone knows my weight, it’s more incentive to be successful in my weight loss endeavours. Social media can be a powerful thing.
Another motivator lately has been my Fitbit account. I purchased a Fitbit Blaze (review coming soon!) a few weeks ago, and the app has been fantastic. I love that you can add friends and compete against each other, it’s a fun way to get more activity. My husband was so impressed by my Blaze that he bought one for himself as well. We do work week and weekend competitions against each other and it’s a lot of fun. On the app you can track your caloric intake too, which is nice – it’s very similar to myfitnesspal.com.
In this day and age I feel like I have no excuse not to lose weight. I’ve yet to be very successful, but utilizing these tools should help. What do you use to motivate you?
So…it’s that time of year again. The one where everyone makes promises to themselves that they can’t keep, where they begin a goal filled with every good intention and ends up quitting within the week. Am I a cynic? Only … Continue reading →