things that scare me

It’s funny how things can seem so scary until you actually go and do it for yourself.

I am a chronic over-thinker.  I constantly worry about my capabilities and doubt my ability to perform a task well.  Before I enrolled in the B.Ed program, I often thought: I could never be a teacher.  But now, look at me.  I’m teaching.  I wouldn’t say that I am an anxious person, but if I am having a bad day, my negative thoughts can push me over the edge and I can end up wanting to hide in my bed, away from the world.

So I’m making a list of things that scare me.  Things that give me anxiety and things that I need to address in my life so that I can choose to live fearlessly.  After all, that’s what this blog is all about.  I actually think that’s what life is all about – choosing to face the things that scare you and getting past them.

So here it is, a not-fully-comprehensive list of things that scare me.

• Driving scares me.  I’m always overthinking it and simply merging on to a highway can cause me to burst into tears.  I’m always worried about getting into an accident.
• I think I’m scared to really commit and lose weight.  I don’t know why, but I know that I’m fully capable of losing the weight, I just seem to self-sabotage all. the. time.
• I’m terrified of confrontation.  I don’t do well under pressure and I hate when people are rude to one another.  The confrontation doesn’t even have to include me, haha!
• I’m scared of sharks.  And all scary things that lurk in deep water.
• I’m so scared of failing.  As if I’m the only one who make mistakes.
• I worry all of the time about what people are thinking of me.  I know that it shouldn’t matter, but for some reason many of my actions are based on what I think people would want.  Logically, I know I’m better than that, but I can’t seem to shake it.

These are all things I hope to change about myself.

What are you scared of?

Rocky Mountain Adventures

Ever since we moved to Alberta, hubby has been dying to go visit the mountains.  The town we’re living in is about two hours from Banff and Lake Louise, and since it was hub’s birthday and he had a day off yesterday, we decided to take off and do some exploring.

I grew up in Alberta, and I know I’ve been to Banff with my family, but I definitely don’t remember it.  I was a kid, and probably had my nose stuck in a book for most of the time.  My mom jokes that she should have taken me anywhere as a child because I don’t remember it now anyway.  Either way, it felt new to me, and man, is it ever beautiful there!  I always say that I prefer the ocean to the mountains, but the truth is, both are magnificent.

We left fairly early in the morning and went straight to Banff.  It’s a cute town with a lot of touristy shops.  We wandered around for a bit, and then had lunch on a rooftop patio and this little pub.  Dessert consisted of some ice cream from Cows – it was nice to find a little taste of PEI way over here in Alberta!

Gooey Mooey – my favourite ice cream!

It was a really beautiful spot to walk around in.  We had wanted to go for a gondola ride, but figured we should probably save the money.

Following Banff, we decided to drive the half hour up to Lake Louise.  This might be one of the most beautiful spots in the entire world.  I’m not going to lie, I was utterly mesmerized.  It was stunning.  Look at the colour of that water!

We spent about an hour walking around Lake Louise, and even found a cute little waterfall. It was a great day, and a nice escape.  We can’t wait to go back!

If you have been to Banff or Lake Louise and have any recommendations for our next visit, please share in the comments!  Or hop over to my Facebook page and let me know there 🙂

Wednesday Weigh In

They say that you won’t be able to lose weight until you’re really ready.  Well, I think I’m finally ready.  I’ve wanted to lose weight for years, but could never seem to commit, until recently.  The last week has been a great one for me, and I’m pleased to say that I’m down three pounds since last week.

I purchased a new scale over the weekend, because my old scale (Thinner brand, I believe) was just so inconsistent.  I could step on in 5 different times in one minute and get 5 different weights, all within a 6 pound range or so.  I know that six pounds is not the end of the world, but when you are trying to shed some weight, you want your scale to be as accurate as possible.  My new scale is a Weight Watchers brand, and it seems to be much more consistent.  As in, I can step on five times and get the same weight each time.  Unfortunately, I seem to weigh a couple of pounds more on this scale, so while I was pumped to see the 240’s on my old scale, I’m still in the 25o’s on my new one.  Next week I’ll celebrate 😉

Old scale on top, new one below.

Speaking of celebrating, today is my hubby’s 30th birthday!  I just want to take a moment and say that I am so, so grateful to have him in my life.  He is one of the most hardworking, genuinely nice people that I know, and my life is so much better since he entered it.  We are hoping to visit the mountains tonight or tomorrow so I’ll make sure to take a lot of pictures.

Happy hump day everyone!

my current favourite salad

Happy Saturday!  And happy (belated) Canada Day.  I hope all you Canadian friends had a great day celebrating Canada’s birthday 🙂  We had a pretty quiet day, my husband works nights, which means he sleeps all day.  I could hear the music and festivities from the local park but I’m too shy and awkward to go alone, so I waited until Rick woke up and we went together around 3pm.  He had to work at night so we didn’t watch any fireworks either.  Ah well.

Before I share with you my favourite salad, I wanted to share a quote that came up on my 5 Minute Journal app.  I love this app, it was created by Alex and Mimi Ikonn, a married couple who I’ve been watching on youtube for a few years now.  The app is great, it really only takes five minutes in the morning and again at night, and I find I’m definitely feeling more mindful as I use it.  Plus it has really great quotes.  You can find more about it here.  You can purchase a hard copy, but I opted for the digital version because I knew I’d be more likely to use it.

Isn’t that a great quote?  I know there are so many days where I go to bed feeling dejected because I didn’t accomplish what I wanted to, but maybe it’s because I need to adjust my mindset in the morning.  Gotta find that determination when I roll out of bed.

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Anyway.  On to my salad.  This is a simple one to make, and there are a ton of variations out there – I know that I have had similar salads at different restaurants throughout the years.  I keep it quite simple, with only a few ingredients, but you could add whatever your heart desires.  I call this the berry-almond-goat cheese deliciousness.

In my salad, I use spinach, or whatever greens we have on hand (pictured is a spring mix from Sobey’s), blueberries, onion, goat cheese, and almonds.  Dressing is the Kraft Balsamic Fig salad dressing.  So. Effing.  Good.  I seriously can’t get enough.  I’ve eaten it every day this week for lunch, and haven’t gotten sick of it yet – and I’m the type that typically can’t eat something two days in a row.  I’ve been eating quite well this week in general, and can’t wait for my weigh-in on Wednesday.

It may not be the absolute healthiest salad out there, but hey, it’s salad.  And I love it.  You will too, trust me.

You’re welcome 😉

Weekly Weigh-In + Little Health Scares

So I wasn’t able to weigh in last week because I was spending the night in Calgary, so that I could observe at my NEW JOB.  I’m so excited to announce that I’ve accepted a job as a pre-school/kindergarten teacher at a school for children with disabilities in the fall.  I didn’t want to announce anything until I had officially signed the contract, which happened yesterday.  I can’t wait to start working, this might actually be my dream job 🙂

I alluded to some little health scares in my title, and I’ll go into more detail now.  For this job, I had to complete some medical testing.  I’ve never had to do this before for a job, so I went in pretty nervous.  My appointment was Monday afternoon.  They first had me pee in a cup, then they took my heigh and weight.  Next, the nurse took my blood pressure.  Now, I’ve never had an issues with my blood pressure in the past (at least not that I know of) but this time the nurse said that my numbers were really high.  Too high, in fact, to continue with the test.  He had me lay down in a quiet room for five minutes, and tried my blood pressure again.  Too high.  Five minutes later, and it was still too high.  They kept telling me I needed to calm down, but I was getting myself all worked up.

They told me to go home and have a nice relaxing evening, and they would squeeze me in the next morning (yesterday morning).  Thankfully, after a good night’s sleep I passed, and was able to continue on with the test.  It consisted of various exercises, running on the treadmill, and lifting weights.  I had no issues with any of that.

I don’t think that I actually have high blood pressure, but just thinking that I do really scared me.  I start my job in exactly two months, and I want to see just how much I can accomplish in the next two months.

I am going to follow the PCOS diet (as best I can) for the next two months, and see what differences occur.  I’m tired of not feeling well, and although I know I’ve said that before, this time I mean it.  Oh, and this week I actually gained a pound.  So it’s time for change.

 

Weigh-In Wednesday

This week was a great week!

I have been all over the place the last few days – driving into the city for job interviews, traveling around, and so my eating has been all over the place too.  But I have been going for walks quite often, and I guess I haven’t been eating that much, because I was down 2.5 lbs this week 🙂

It’s a great feeling to see the scale go in the right direction.  It feels  like it has been years since I saw some actual weight loss.  My goal for next week is to get into the 240’s!

 

Wednesday Weigh-In

I seem to be one of those people who are perpetually disappointed when they step on the scale.  I tend to over estimate how much weight I’ll lose each week.  This week, I stepped on the scale and was down exactly one pound.

This past week, I have gone for a walk nearly every day, drank 9 or more cups of water, and monitored what I ate (for the most part).  And I was only down one measly pound.  It’s so disappointing.

The thing I need to learn is not to give up when I get frustrated like this.  I have PCOS, which can make weight loss a lot more difficult.  It means I have to work harder than most people to shed some weight.

So while I want to curl up in bed and eat a whole bag of cheddar popcorn, I’m not going to do that.  I’m going to put on my shoes and go for another walk and then make myself another breakfast.  I’m tired of quitting and starting over.  I need to accept that this is a journey, and I have to be committed for the long term.

 

Weighing In

I think that almost everyone has wanted to shed a few pounds at some time during their lifetime, and I am no exception.  Now that I have moved to a new province, I need to start working on changing my lifestyle.  I’ve wanted to lose weight since I was a teenager, and I did it once pretty successfully – losing about 30 lbs on Weight Watchers back in 2008.  Like most diets, when I quit, I gained the weight back, and then some.

Back in 2008, I wanted to lose weight to look good.  I was in my early twenties and I wanted to feel hot.  Now, although it definitely would be nice to look better, there are so many other reasons to lose weight.

I have some health issues that are coming up due to my weight gain, and it would be nice to get rid of those.  Things such as sore knees and ankles, swelling legs, acid reflux and also low energy levels.  I also want to conceive within the next few years, so that’s a motivator as well.  I have PCOS (Poly-cystic ovarian syndrome) which means that I’m going to have to work extra hard to lose weight.  But it’s not impossible.

I started this year (January 2016) at my highest ever weight, and I’ve decided this is the year I need to change.  I have a lot of weight to lose – over one hundred pounds just to get myself into the healthy BMI range.  I haven’t lost much weight since then, about 10 lbs, but now I need to commit and actually change my ways.

The plan:  During this month, I plan to hit 10 000 steps each day, and do some light calisthenics each day as well.  I will eat 5 to 6 small meals a day, consisting primarily of fruit, veggies, and protein.  I’ll weigh in each week to monitor progress.  I know that I’ve started so many diets in the past and failed them, but this time I need to do it.  I turn thirty next year, I’ve had enough.

Let’s do this!

 

We made it!

I didn’t have this post up when I should have because from the minute we arrived in Alberta it’s been nonstop!  I last posted when we were in Winnipeg, so I summarize what happened since Wednesday night.

We had a wonderful time with our hosts in Winnipeg, they were very friendly and even shared some birthday cake with us.  Seriously, who doesn’t love birthday cake? 😉

Thursday’s drive was uneventful, we drove through the prairies to Regina, Saskatchewan.  Not many pictures to take, to be honest.  It’s all very flat and fairly unexciting.

My dad works in Regina, he had gotten us a hotel room for the night and we went out for supper with him.  He took us to Da India Curry House, which is an Indian buffet restaurant.  I’ve never had a curry buffet before, and we left absolutely stuffed.  Their butter chicken is to die for.  If you’re ever in the Regina area and you like curry, this is a must-try!

We said goodbye to my dad (there were some tears on my part) that night.

Friday morning we set off for High River, AB, our final destination.  We arrived around 5 pm.  We are hoping to move to Calgary, but until we get things sorted out we are living with some friends in my hometown.  It’s a great little town, and I’m happy to be back.

Now it’s time to start job hunting like crazy!  Thanks for following us on this road trip 🙂

The Journey Continues

So it has been one week since we departed from Prince Edward Island on this cross-country adventure, and I have to admit, I’m getting a little tired of being on the road.  People would jokingly ask if my husband and I would even like each other after spending eight days cooped up in a car together, and I would just like to say that yes, I still like him ;).   I think we travel really well together.  I’m just a little tired of the whole sitting-in-a-car-for-eight-hours-a-day thing.  Thankfully, we just have two days left!

We are spending tonight in Winnipeg.  Tomorrow we drive to Regina, where we will get a chance to see my dad (he works there for every two out of three weeks), and on Friday we will arrive in High River.  It will be so nice to be home.  To be honest, when I moved from Alberta to New Brunswick nearly ten years ago, I didn’t think that I would ever be moving back out West.  But things change, and after getting married, getting my education degree, and planning our future, we decided that there are more opportunities out west than there are in the Maritimes.  So while I’m broken-hearted about all the friends and family that I am leaving behind, I know that there will be new friends to make as well as old friends and family to reconnect with.

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We had a wonderful stay in Thunder Bay.  Our hosts, Chris and Jayden, were very friendly and accommodating, and we stayed in a cute little bedroom with it’s own little balcony.  We went for a nice long walk in downtown Thunder Bay, and returned back to the house to watch the latest episode of Fear the Walking Dead.  We were going to watch it on my little laptop, but Chris said he already had it on a USB stick and we could watch it on the bigger TV.  He had seen the episode already but he watched it again with us.

We left around 9:30 this morning, with plans to arrive in Winnipeg between 6 and 7pm.  However, we once again forgot about the time change and so we had a bit of time to kill since we gained an hour that we hadn’t planned for.  We stopped for lunch in a town called Dryden, in Ontario.  We were told we just had to try the Bannock Shack, a little restaurant that had been featured on the TV show You Gotta Eat Here!  We had cheesy potato patty Bannock burgers and soup, which was the special of the day.  It was quite good, though pretty greasy.

After another couple of hours on the road, we stopped in the quaint town of Kenora.  We took thirty minutes or so to walk around the boardwalk and up Main street.

We arrived in Winnipeg and met our host for the night.  If you follow me on Snapchat I shared a little tour of our room here.  It’s a beautiful space and once again everyone is so friendly.  It’s raining pretty hard out right now but we might take a drive to see a bit more of the city.

Today’s song of the day is a song that makes me extremely happy.  There’s just something about the tune that makes me want to smile.  It is by Paolo Nutini and it’s called Pencil Full of Lead.  Let me know what you think!

More to come tomorrow!  Have a great night! xx